There I was, a seven-year-old little girl excitedly sitting at her desk, ready to turn in the art project I had worked on all weekend. I was so proud of myself as I handed it to my teacher. She paused. Then, looking over her glasses directly at me, she said, “Gee, Derlene, couldn’t you have put some effort into this?”
I was devastated. Heartbroken. On that day, in that very moment, I gave up believing I was creative. It was a decision I made that became a belief I lived with for decades. I even began “joking” that I cannot even create something out of those color-by-number color sheets.
Some of the takeaways I had from that experience were: I cannot draw, I am not creative, I will be humiliated if I try to draw, and to save myself from embarrassment, I better to stay out of art. If I cannot produce Michealangelo-worthy art, it is not happening!
I began running a perfectionist program (eventually I discovered I ran several!)
In this blog, you are going to learn the difference between excellence and perfection. Perfection is crippling, keeps you stuck, hinders decision-making and stifles creativity. Perfectionism holds you back from performing at your best because of the anxiety and mindset of never being “good enough.”
Excellence, on the other hand, creates possibility, allows for creativity, and opportunity.
Brain’s Response to Perfection and Excellence
The brain’s response to perfection is raising cortisol levels, and when that happens, it can affect blood pressure and blood sugar, among other issues. When we are in a state of perfection, anytime our plan goes haywire, we sort of freak out. The Shadow Narrator, you know, that voice in your head that is always lurking around casting doubt on your decisions or actions, goes into action. You become anxious and buy into negative self-talk. It is paralyzing and you take no action; your Shadow Narrator tells you no action is better than taking the wrong action (not true!)
That is what I would do every time I attempted using creativity. My Shadow Narrator would remind me that it was not going to turn out well, I will be humiliated, and I am the least creative person on the planet. The result was I never allowed myself to think outside the box. As I became a teacher, I never taught the same lesson the same way. I always thought it had to be better. I spent Sundays and summers redoing everything. Once I became a director, I wrote the lessons for the teachers so they could be perfect, only to repeat the cycle I had as a teacher. It was exhausting living in a state of perfection. This is but one of thousands of perfection programs I would run.
The brain’s response to focusing on achievement and progress is to release dopamine. Dopamine is the “feel good” hormone and affects motivation, satisfaction and energy. When in a state of excellence, you acknowledge your growth and celebrate the “baby steps.” You acquire more resilience and adaptability. We anticipate our road to success and do so with enthusiasm. One of the gifts of a state of excellence is becoming more vulnerable, more human, more relatable.
Once I began shifting my perspective from perfection and focused on excellence, my life became much more enjoyable and productive. The first time I really noticed was when I was in college and took a required art class. You can imagine the apprehension to register for the class. Our project was to make something out of clay. After weeks of overthinking, I decided on making a panda. As I held it up when I was finished, I realized the likeness was more like Yoda! I laughed, put a cape on him and turned him in to be put in the kiln. I was devastated many years later when he was knocked off a shelf.
How to Foster a State of Excellence
It is a good reminder that we create as we think, and we create as we speak. Watch your language and what you are saying to yourself. When the Shadow Narrator talks, I literally say, “thanks for trying to look out for me, Shadow Narrator, and I’ve got this.”
Say out loud, “I have to get out of bed and have to work.”
Now say, “I get to get out of bed and get to work.”
You should feel an internal shift when focusing on possibility (get) vs. necessity (have). Every time I do this activity with others, I still feel the shift.
Anchoring is also a powerful tool. Create an anchor that reminds you of excellence. When the Shadow Narrator has something to say, I go into a confident stance, like a Wonder Woman stance. I immediately feel a shift in energy. I have set an anchor that my neurology responds to.
Visualize your successful outcome. We store in pictures, so create the outcome in your mind that is positive and successful.
Shifting from perfectionism to living in a state of excellence is not an overnight thing. Consistency, being self-aware, and practicing personal kindness all play a role. It takes time and personal investment. That is one of the biggest reasons I formed You Empowered Services. I figured as a performance coach working with entrepreneurs and business owners, I would constantly surround myself with an environment that calls me to continual growth and improvement. What could be better than that?
Remember, the expert, like anything, was once a beginner. You might want to read that again. Give yourself grace and stay focused on excellence.
For those looking to delve deeper into this topic or seeking personalized guidance, feel free to connect with me. Let’s explore the possibilities together and turn your fear of failure into a powerful tool for success.
Always forward,
Derlene
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