Before walking through the door for my first time in about 4 months, I called up one of the personal trainers and asked for help.  As much as I wanted to go back, I didn’t want to go back!  Since I was going to be successful, I had to seek out an advocate, a coach, a partner.  I needed someone to plan my workout, challenge me to complete it, and encourage me when I am at that moment of desperation and want to quit.

My trainer/coach, Mendy, is an excellent choice for me.  She is co-owner of the gym, has had significant injuries, and worked herself back into amazing, competitive shape.  She is a Crossfitter.  Now, I am not saying I want to be a competitive Crossfitter, I just want to be in excellent physical shape.  I enjoy being around the gym as others are seeking their optimal physical condition as well.

I am being a mind reader right now, I think some of my family members think I need a therapist, not a coach!

So, what’s the difference you ask?  That is an excellent question!  I am going to put this in perspective of an Empowerment/Life Coach since this is the service I provide.

First of all, a coach takes you right where you are, encourages you to set goals, and then helps you formulate a plan to reach those goals.  No dream is too big, no goal is unattainable.  It is all in what YOU want for YOUR future.  A therapist will help you, as you deal with your past so you can be effective in living in the moment.

A client always reminds me that her therapist helped her get through the crisis she was in so she could show up in the day; then she reminds me that I helped her find herself and now uses the term “thrive” as opposed to “survive”.

Coaching helps clients design their lives; therapists help to solve issues.  I share with you at one point my life coach asked me what my dreams were and I could not even name them.  I was literally living day to day, repeat, repeat, repeat.  I call this survival.  Now, I dream and I dream BIG!  I have so many dreams and goals, I try to negotiate with God to let me live to be about 150!  I think this should be long enough!!

As a coach, I consider my clients to be a co-equal partnership, we walk side by side.  I support their dreams and help them formulate a plan to make their goals a reality.  It is so empowering to know I am living my life that I designed; not a life I perceive someone else thinks I should be living.  I have been there, done that.  Over it.  A therapist needs to lead because as we deal with our past, we need an expert to be in control leading us along as we deal with our “stuff.”

As a look at the role of coaching, I am excited and honored to serve others in this capacity.  As my training coach, Mendy, asked what my goals were, I told her I wanted to rock being a middle-aged woman.  I do not want to go back and live the previous decades, I want to show young women through example how to thrive, how to live my life on my terms.

Last month I rode a Century Ride (100 miles in one day).  I didn’t even ride a bike 5 years ago!  Previously, I have listened as other people talk about how they have gone from “rags to riches” in their life:  emotionally, physically, or spiritually.  I would make excuses why I could never accomplish such feats.  You know what?  That’s what they are:  excuses.  Instead, now I draw inspiration from those talks.  I look to find a word or a story, anything I can hang on to will serve me as I move towards my dreams and goals.  I know we can do anything we truly want and desire.

Where was Mendy this morning as I was doing push-ups, squats, and ball slams?  Right there beside me, encouraging me, counting down the time for me, letting me know I am getting the job done!  I was laughing as I told Mendy that I loved her when I walked in the gym this morning.  But now I have to be honest; I think we might have a love-hate relationship for the next couple of months!

I will continue with both of my advocates/supporters/coaches/partners as I continually discover a new layer of “Derlene.”  It is so much fun to be surprised by what lies under the next layer as well as become curious about insights which need some attention.

Until next time, all glory be given to God.  He made us to thrive, not survive.