Divorce – The Dream Thief
When you walked down the aisle, you just knew your husband-to-be was the one to make all your dreams come true. Undoubtedly, the two of you made plans and envisioned your future together – it was going to be everything you hoped for and more. And the best part was you would do it together. Fast forward to the end of your marriage, your partnership, your family, and your dreams. What now?
How to Live Through Divorce
Are you in the beginning, middle, or end of a separation or divorce? Struggling with staying or going and wondering if it’s all your fault? Chances are, this major life change has wrecked your self-esteem and your grip on the future; utterly destroyed your way of being in the world and now you’re completely lost. Who do you turn to and where do you go from here?
I’m Derlene Hirtz; Divorce and Empowerment Coach; the YES! finder. My passion is helping you find your fortitude and learn to love yourself again while living a full, rewarding life after such a devastating loss. I will coach you through the kaleidoscope of emotions to bring you to a place of healing and thriving.
The Tangled Feelings of Loss
Trying to decide whether to leave your spouse and going through a divorce can bring up grief that’s akin to death, though it is not recognized by the general public as such. This lack of empathy can make the feelings you’re dealing with even harder to bear and easier to push down to the depths of your soul until it affects your long-term emotional and physical health. Do any of these sound familiar?
- I am extremely lonely
- I don’t like the way I am treated
- I feel sad, depressed, emotional
- I don’t feel loved or valued
- I am afraid of the future
- I find I’m walking on eggshells
- I am trapped
- I’m staying because of the kids
- Is there life out there?
- How will I support myself?
If you find yourself reflected in these words, I can help you find your way through the uncertainty. There is help, there is hope, and you are strong enough to do what you need to do to take care of you. As your Divorce Coach, I can help you find your way out of the negative self-talk to self-love. You will find the strength to handle whatever comes your way – your very own genuine strength that I’m pretty certain you’ve forgotten you possess.
The Phases of Divorce
What About the Kids?
This is the most common factor that holds many marriages together, long after the damage has been done. During our coaching sessions, we will address the fear of going from supporting one household to supporting two on the same income. We will create a Parent Plan for the single parent and include support coaching for all aspects of the divorced parent roller coaster. Dealing with your own emotional upheaval and your children’s go hand-in-hand.
During the Divorce Process
Finding it impossible to communicate with your spouse? Are you shocked by his terms and not willing to agree to them? The weight of the divorce process is crushing and can derail your self-esteem and create doubt and loss of concentration at work and with your kids.
Together, we can get you through this phase with confidence and clarity. We can soften the terror of your unknown future, your confusion about how to go forward, and work through each step together so you have a sounding board. You can be truly honest about what you want without judgment.
After the Divorce
Now what? You’re exhausted, you’ve been through the wringer, and you can’t imagine focusing on the future. Do you think about your ex all the time? Do you fluctuate between rage and anger and sadness and guilt?
There are many emotions that come up once the divorce is finalized and there’s been a little time to process. You’re not alone if you think he’s happy and you’re not, or if you think you should have tried harder and get stuck in the “what ifs.” However, it is time to let go and take care of you, your kids, and your future.
While you’re processing the range of emotions that come with such a loss, like grief, I am here to guide you and let you know what you’re feeling is okay. And I am also here to make sure you don’t get stuck in anger or self-loathing or regret. The divorce is final; it is time to find your strength and be empowered to create a life you’ll cherish once again.
“Where Do I Go From Here?”
Often, it takes years of a marriage unraveling to get to the stage where divorce is an option. What you probably didn’t realize while your marriage was slowly unraveling, is that you were too. Your sense of self, your priorities, your efforts, your hope, and your outlook about the future are all altered, sometimes for years.
It may not seem like it now, but there is a fulfilling future for you and we will find it together. No matter what phase of the divorce process you are in, I can help you sort through uncertainty, find hope, and grow; to be empowered to say YES! to the rest of your life.
Read others’ success stories here and feel free to contact me for any reason. I offer a free consultation and seminars for women going through a divorce that may make it easier for you to see how Divorce Coaching can be a life-saver. I can’t wait to meet you and help you be empowered to take your life back! 636-459-0877